What Was Your Worst Hair Day?

All of us want some comedian aid proper now, so let’s speak dangerous hair days. Right here’s mine.

Certainly one of my finest associates is getting married in New York — black tie! — and I wish to deal with myself to a blowout. I’m staying at my aunt’s residence, and the closest Drybar is one block over. I observe the low stars on Google however guide an appointment anyway. “Don’t fear, it’s like McDonald’s!” I reassure my associates. “You choose what you need from a menu, and it’s at all times the identical.”

I’m a sorceress of self-delusion.

So what if the lavatory is soiled and the complete employees appears deeply sad to be there? From the smudged menu, I choose the “Cosmo-Tai” — a tousled wavy ‘do this makes you appear to be an additional in a teen drama (excellent) — and take off my glasses.

The Cosmo-Tai mannequin photographs from Drybar

The stylist washes my hair, and the water is ice chilly. “They’re saving cash on vitality prices! That’s so nice!” I inform myself. She torches my hair on the roots with the dryer, blasting my scalp with the fires of hell. “Cozy!” I believe.

The curling iron comes out, and I chill out and shut my eyes. Then I really feel my stylist sigh at each curl. Soul-searching sighs. Sighs of grief, exhaustion, malaise. I do know that doing my hair isn’t going to deliver her any happiness at the moment, and admittedly, it shouldn’t. A colleague passes by and asks, “Whenever you get off?” they usually trade a quick dialog on the theme of: I would like this to be over.

Everyone knows this sense.

“You may have such fantastic hair,” she sighs. “I did it additional curly so it’ll keep for the marriage.” She twirls the chair round so I can see. Glasses go on.

alex beggs bad haircut

Within the mirror, a museum-worthy piece of summary artwork. Asymmetrical curls, so tightly wound that in case you pull them they spring again with a cartoon boing! Others a little bit cramped, like they acquired caught in a automobile door. Frizz exploding from a wonky middle half that means I could have caught my fingers within the socket to take the sting off. I ask, meekly, “Possibly we tease it out… a bit?”

I tip 20% and rush outta there, taking a fast selfie within the elevator as much as my aunt’s residence. “So, that’s a blowout?” she inquires from behind an iPad sport of Rummikub. “Are you… gonna cry?” my life accomplice asks, fearful.

No! I really really feel giddy. A hairdo so dangerous it’s hilarious. I moist my fingers on the sink and attempt to tame the beast. Boing! The curls spring again. I think about a bathe after which rethink due to not caring that a lot. When it’s time to go away for the marriage, I pull my hair right into a ponytail, a couple of curls protruding like reside wires, and make my means uptown.

bad haircuts tv shows Seinfeld Mindy project

bad haircuts tv shows fleabag PEN15

Famously dangerous haircuts from Seinfeld, The Mindy Mission, Fleabag and PEN15.

I advised you mine, now you inform me yours.

Alex Beggs is a author and copywriter who lives together with her accomplice in Michigan. Her articles have appeared in Bon Appetit, Elle Decor, and The New York Instances. She has additionally written for Cup of Jo about meatloaf and chilly cake.

P.S. Three CoJ readers get hair makeovers, and Jannelle will get the haircut she’s at all times needed.

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