How to Overcome Your Fear of Failure

Have you ever ever observed how typically worry holds us again from getting what we really need?

It typically retains us from making an attempt in any respect, makes us self-sabotage even after we do strive.

And it comes up a LOT.

It’s additionally a phenomenon that has fascinated me for a very long time—a lot in order that I spent greater than TWO YEARS researching all of the ways in which worry holds us again and surveying greater than 4,000 girls, after which wrote a e-book about it referred to as Do It Scared.

And whereas lately I spend a number of my time serving to girls over 40 shed some pounds and get wholesome, I’ve discovered that that underlying worry challenge by no means actually goes away.

It holds us again from reaching our well being objectives in lots of the similar methods it holds us again from a number of different issues in life.

And so right now, I needed to speak about that. The way to overcome your worry of failure and truly take management of your well being for good. I need to discuss why that worry occurs and what it appears like, and most significantly what you’ll be able to really do about it.

It’s a robust subject, and one I hope has an enduring influence on you, possibly even in additional methods than simply your well being. So let’s dig in!

The reality is that the worry of failure is a really actual factor, and it’s one thing that holds a number of us again from pursuing our objectives and goals, particularly on the subject of one thing as private and emotional as our well being and weight reduction journey. And it’s not simply the worry of failing, but in addition the worry of what that failure may imply, and the way it may make us really feel about ourselves.

It’s the worry of not being adequate, or of not having the ability to do it, or of not having what it takes. It’s the worry of trying silly, or of being judged, or of disappointing the individuals we care about. It’s the worry of change, and of the unknown, and of stepping out of our consolation zones. And it’s the worry of shedding management, and of not having the ability to return to the way in which issues had been.

And all of that worry will be extremely paralyzing, and might preserve us caught in the identical patterns and behaviors, even after we know they’re not serving us. It will possibly preserve us from even getting began, or from taking the mandatory steps to make actual progress. It will possibly preserve us from asking for assist, or from admitting that we’d like it. It will possibly preserve us from being trustworthy with ourselves, and from actually trying on the underlying points which can be holding us again.

And it could possibly preserve us from being keen to strive one thing new, or from being open to a distinct manner of doing issues. It will possibly preserve us from being keen to put money into ourselves, or from placing within the effort and time that’s required to see actual outcomes. It will possibly preserve us from being keen to be affected person, and to know that it is a journey, and that it’s not at all times going to be simple.

However most of all, it could possibly preserve us from believing in ourselves, and from realizing that we’re able to a lot greater than we predict. And that, to me, is the saddest a part of all.

As a result of the fact is that failure is part of life. It’s one thing that all of us expertise at one time or one other, and it’s one thing that may really be a really highly effective software for development and studying, if we’re keen to let it.

And probably the most profitable individuals on the planet—the individuals we admire and look as much as—are those who’ve failed probably the most, and who’ve been keen to maintain going, and to maintain making an attempt, even when issues didn’t work out the way in which they’d hoped.

However it’s not simply well-known individuals who dare to fail. It’s individuals in our on a regular basis lives. It’s the ladies in my program—a few of whom I’ve interviewed on my Stay Higher. Stay Free. podcast—who’re daring to push previous their worry and truly take management of their well being.

They’re those who’ve been keen to take dangers, and to step exterior of their consolation zones. They’re those who’ve been keen to face their fears, and to not allow them to maintain them again. They’re those who’ve been keen to ask for assist, and to encompass themselves with individuals who can help and encourage them. They’re those who’ve been keen to be trustworthy with themselves, and to take an excellent, exhausting have a look at what’s not working, and to make the mandatory modifications.

They’re those who’ve been keen to strive one thing new, and to be open to a distinct manner of doing issues. They’re those who’ve been keen to put money into themselves. They usually’re those who’ve been keen to be affected person, and to know that success doesn’t occur in a single day, and that it’s the small, constant steps that we take daily that add as much as huge outcomes over time.

However most of all, they’re those who’ve been keen to imagine in themselves, and in their very own capacity to create the life that they need. They’re those who’ve been keen to vary their mindset, and to let go of all of the limiting beliefs and destructive self-talk that had been holding them again. They’re those who’ve been keen to take management of their very own ideas and feelings, and to not let worry and self-doubt get in the way in which of their objectives and goals.

And that, my buddies, is the important thing to overcoming the worry of failure—altering your mindset and the story you’re telling your self. As a result of the fact is that we are sometimes our personal worst enemy, and that the issues we inform ourselves each day can have a huge effect on our capacity to succeed.

And should you’re struggling to beat that worry of failure, and to vary your mindset in a manner that may permit you to really make progress towards your well being and weight reduction objectives, then I need to share just a few sensible methods with you right now that I feel will be actually useful.

However earlier than we dive into that, I need to take a fast second to remind you that should you’re new to this weblog and to the Thinlicious model, and also you’re searching for a greater option to shed some pounds and get wholesome that truly works, then you must positively take into account becoming a member of me for my subsequent free stay workshop. I host these fairly commonly, and it’s an important likelihood to learn the way our system works and easy methods to get began, nevertheless it’s additionally an superior alternative to ask all of your questions and get solutions in actual time. And once more, it’s completely free to hitch however you do must register, so you’ll be able to go try this HERE.

Okay, so with that out of the way in which, let’s go forward and dive into the good things, and discuss FEAR and the way it is perhaps holding you again on the subject of attaining your well being and weight reduction objectives, after which discuss some sensible methods for overcoming worry in a manner that may permit you to really make actual progress.

What Concern Seems to be Like

So what does worry actually appear like?

Effectively, to be trustworthy—and that is one thing I discovered in additional than 2 years of analysis for my e-book Do It Scared—worry really appears a bit of bit totally different for everybody.

For those who’ve learn that e-book, you understand I launched a mannequin I name the 7 worry archetypes, which is principally the seven distinctive ways in which worry tends to manifest in our life.

And perceive, once I discuss worry, I’m not speaking about PHOBIAS—the worry of snakes or the worry of flying. I’m speaking about that deep inside worry—the sort that holds us again from getting what we really need.

So what does this appear like for various individuals? Effectively, it comes again to the Concern Archetypes

Procrastination

First, there’s Procrastination.

The PROCRASTINATOR worry archetype is often known as the Perfectionist. 

And should you’re a perfectionist, you in all probability already know that about your self—and also you may even see it as a supply of delight, not realizing that each one these perfectionist tendencies are literally a type of FEAR, since you use your want for the whole lot to be good as a cause to not do it in any respect.

You’re the form of one that sometimes spend a number of time doing analysis or getting organized, and possibly end up stalling and discovering different issues to do moderately than that one factor you actually need to be doing. You’re the one which’s seemingly accomplished allllll the analysis and skim allllll the food plan books and listened to allllll the podcasts, as a result of studying and listening feels safer than really beginning.

You simply by no means fairly really feel READY. However what you’re REALLY afraid of constructing a mistake, which it’s so exhausting to get going. As a result of now you’re overwhelmed with data overload and what should you make the unsuitable alternative, or worse but, what should you fail?

So it’s simpler simply to not start.

And you must know that this worry archetype—the Procrastinator/Perfectionist—is definitely the most typical of ALL the worry archetypes. About 40% of the inhabitants have this one as their major archetype. So if that is you, you’re positively NOT alone.

Individuals Pleasing

However subsequent up is one thing often known as PEOPLE PLEASING.

And the worry that holds a Individuals Pleaser again isn’t essentially the worry of constructing a mistake, however the worry of being judged, or letting individuals down. You care a LOT about what individuals assume, and typically battle with boundaries or saying no.

So should you’re a individuals pleaser, this can be affecting your well being and weight reduction journey in various alternative ways. For one, you may really feel embarrassed or ashamed of what different individuals may assume should you begin one other new food plan or weight reduction program. Or possibly you’re fearful that you simply’ll be judged for following a plan that so many individuals—due to all of the lies we’ve been informed for thus lengthy about what’s wholesome and what’s not—and also you’re fearful about having to justify your self.

And actually, I’ve seen this with various our purchasers—family and friends get REALLY judgy after they understand one thing as being “exterior the norm.” And it may be exhausting. And should you’re a individuals pleaser, it’s REALLY exhausting. Or possibly, since you’re a individuals pleaser, you simply can’t appear to make it previous these social conditions the place you’re with different individuals and dealing with the peer stress to take pleasure in all of the issues that bought you to this place within the first place. Perhaps you do okay by yourself, otherwise you really feel dedicated, however the second you’re in that social scenario, it feels IMPOSSIBLE to face up for your self. Since you don’t need to damage any emotions or make anybody mad.

And it won’t appear to be that is worry holding you again, however it’s, typically in a extremely huge manner.

Rule Following

Or possibly you’re extra of a Rule Follower Archetype. Which means that for you, there’s virtually at all times a course of that must be adopted, and it makes you uncomfortable to stray from that path. You don’t even prefer it when different individuals step exterior the traces. You’re the form of one that at all times learn the instruction guide from begin to end, and should you’re cooking a recipe, you observe it to the letter. 

The excellent news for a rule follower is that should you’re given the suitable algorithm and directions to observe, you’ll most probably excel. In actual fact, in all of my packages, I discover that a lot of my most profitable purchasers are Rule Followers, as a result of they do the work.

However the PROBLEM for Rule Followers, on the subject of fashionable well being and weight reduction, is that SO MANY of the principles you’ve been given are complete BS.

For all these years we’ve been informed all these items like if you wish to shed some pounds you want to eat much less and train extra, and simply rely your energy, and eat much less fats and extra entire grains. And so that you’re following all the principles, however they’re the WRONG RULES.

And but you’ll be able to can’t allow them to go as a result of it’s what your physician and all of the consultants preserve saying. The worry of breaking out of that “standard knowledge” and going in opposition to what you understand because the “proper manner” to do issues is totally holding you again. In order that’s the Rule Follower.

Concern of Rejection

After which there’s the OUTCAST. And should you’re an outcast, then I can positively relate as a result of that’s my #1 worry archetype as properly. However should you’re an outcast like me, then your greatest worry is often the worry of being rejected.

And that may sound a bit of bit much like the individuals pleaser’s worry of being judged or not being favored, however the way in which that it MANIFESTS is definitely very totally different. You see, outcasts are inclined to manifest that deep worry of rejection by rejecting different individuals and concepts FIRST, earlier than we will be rejected in return. It’s virtually like a pre-emptive strike or a safety mechanism.

On the floor, it looks as if we actually don’t care what different individuals assume. However we really care very deeply. Rejecting the world or the issues that may work for us means not having to face rejection. In spite of everything, it’s manner simpler to say one thing like “Keto is dumb, everyone seems to be doing it, it’s simply one other fad food plan that received’t really work for me.” then threat taking the motion and having it not really change the deeper points which can be inflicting your unhappiness. We additionally are inclined to reject something that seems like it could make us susceptible or require us to place ourselves on the market ultimately.

In order that’s the Outcast.

Self-Doubt

Subsequent up is a giant one—SELF DOUBT. 

And it’s not exhausting to see how this may preserve you caught, particularly on the subject of well being and weight reduction, as a result of if you’re a self-doubter you’re already combating deep feeling of insecurity and a worry of not being adequate. You might have hassle believing that you’re really able to making actual and optimistic modifications in you life, and that makes it actually, actually exhausting to seek out any motivation to get began.

You’re the one that would by no means in one million years dream of taking a “earlier than” image and sharing it within the Fb group, as a result of your self-criticism can be off the charts. However you additionally end up feeling essential of the individuals round you—possibly even the individuals who DO put up these photographs of themselves. In actual fact, typically your tendency to be tremendous essential places a pressure in your relationships as a result of the individuals round you are feeling like you’re at all times selecting on them. However actually it comes from that deep feeling of insecurity and never being sufficient that weighs on you on a regular basis.

In order that’s the Self Doubter.

Making Excuses

After which there’s the EXCUSE MAKER Concern Archetype. And we will in all probability all consider at the least one individual we all know who matches this description proper?

However principally the excuse maker at all times has an excuse, a cause for why they’ll’t get began, or—within the case of well being and weight reduction—and excuse for WHY you’ve gained weight and why nothing you strive will really be just right for you. Perhaps it’s a thyroid challenge. Perhaps it’s hormones. Perhaps it’s genetics. Perhaps it’s the truth that you simply don’t have time or you may have meals sensitivities. Perhaps it’s sort 2 diabetes. Or autoimmune. Or arthritis. Otherwise you’re too outdated. Or your husband doesn’t help you. Otherwise you journey an excessive amount of. Or. Or. Or. As a result of there’s at all times an excuse.

For for the excuse maker, the deep underlying worry is the worry of taking accountability or being blamed. Typically this goes all the way in which again to childhood trauma with dad and mom who continually blamed you for issues. However it’s this virtually visceral response to the thought of taking possession in your personal life and your personal well being, and it retains you caught in excuse land the place you by no means must take the blame for a way issues have turned out.

However on the finish of the day, even an excellent excuse continues to be an excuse.

In order that’s the excuse maker.

Pessimism

After which lastly, there’s the PESSIMIST Concern Archetype.

And should you’ve skilled a number of hardship and adversity in your life, or you’re at present going by means of a very exhausting season the place you’ve had some fairly huge challenges or trauma—possibly a divorce or a job loss or the loss of life of somebody near you, you is perhaps figuring out as a Pessimist.

As a result of whenever you get into pessimist mode, principally your greatest worry is experiencing extra ache and adversity. For you, each alternative feels too dangerous. It’s virtually such as you simply utterly shut down and also you’re reluctant to TRY as a result of the whole lot in life seems like a possibility to get damage once more. In essence, you’ve given up. 

And never surprisingly, of all of the seven archetypes, that is in all probability the HARDEST worry to work by means of and overcome, since you’re simply in such a darkish place. That stated, of all of the 7 worry archetypes, that is additionally the one that’s most probably to be a brief season—typically a time the place you want to give your self a number of grace, however in all probability additionally get some assist.

In order that’s the Pessimist, and people are the 7 worry archetypes—the seven ways in which worry tends to indicate up in our lives.

And it’s necessary to know too, that these can present up in tandem or in a mixture of some totally different worry archetypes. Some individuals might need one that’s completely dominant, however most individuals expertise a bit of little bit of a number of of those. However every individual is a bit of bit distinctive—it’s like you may have your personal worry fingerprint.

The way to Overcome Your Concern of Failure

So the query then turns into—what are you able to really do about it?

How do you overcome the worry or fears which can be holding you again and truly take motion in your life. How do you not let these fears devour you, and preserve you from getting what you really need?

Determine Your Concern Archetype

Effectively, imagine it or not, step one is definitely to simply establish and acknowledge the way in which that worry is displaying up for you—to actually shine a lightweight on the way in which worry is manifesting in your life proper now, and within the methods it’s holding you again. It’s virtually like a reputation it and declare it kinda factor. It’s important to know what you’re working with.

And by the way in which, if you wish to really take my worry evaluation to find out YOUR worry archetype, you will discover it at DoItScared.com. It’s fairly enlightening, to say the least.

However the necessary factor to know is you could really do one thing about it.

Your worry, nonetheless it’s at present manifesting in your life, doesn’t HAVE to carry you again. All that issues is that you simply establish it. Once more, as a result of all of this worry I simply talked about occurs subconsciously, beneath the floor, with out actually realizing that’s what’s occurring, and even realizing that sure behaviors are literally worry manifesting in very actual and harmful methods.

 However as quickly as you can begin to establish these patterns of conduct in your personal life, THAT is when you’ll be able to really change them. What was SUBconscious turns into aware. You really SEE it taking place.

However what’s extra, you start to understand you may have the facility to CHOOSE one thing totally different.

And that’s the place the mindset shift begins to occur. As a substitute of being subconsiously managed by worry, you begin to see how you should use it as a software for development. All of us have our distinctive set of fears and insecurities that maintain us again, however should you can be taught to lean into them as a substitute of run away from them, you’ll be able to grow to be stronger and extra resilient.

As a result of the fact is that every Concern Archetype is a double edged sword. There’s part of it that holds you again, however each additionally has strengths related to it.

For those who’re a procrastinator, you’re afraid of constructing a mistake, sure, however you additionally are inclined to have an important consideration to element and are sometimes extremely meticulous and arranged.

For those who’re a individuals pleaser, you search approval, however you’re additionally sometimes an important individual to be round—considerate, well-liked, and enjoyable.

For those who’re a rule follower, you will get caught in black & white pondering, however you’re additionally extremely diligent and accountable.

For those who’re an outcast, you worry rejection, however you’re additionally typically an unbiased thinker with a number of drive.

For those who’re a self-doubter, you’ll be able to battle with insecurity, however you’re additionally extremely empathetic.

By understanding your personal worry archetype, you’ll be able to really begin to use it as gasoline to succeed in your objectives, as a substitute of letting it preserve you caught.

And that mindset shift, in and of itself, will be extremely motivating.

In order that’s step one—you want to do some introspective work to truly decide how worry is displaying up in your life, and the way it’s at present holding you again.

Get Clear About Your Why

The following step, then, is to get actually clear in your WHY. As a result of the reality is that in case your causes for desirous to shed some pounds and get wholesome aren’t sturdy sufficient, then it’s going to be very simple to let worry and self-doubt get in the way in which of your objectives.

However you probably have a powerful, compelling cause WHY you need to do that, then that may be a really highly effective motivator, and one thing that may enable you to preserve going, even when issues get robust.

So take a while to actually take into consideration and get clear in your WHY. Why is that this necessary to you? What is going to dropping pounds and getting wholesome permit you to do or have or be that you simply’re not at present capable of do or have or be? How will your life be totally different? How will you are feeling? And the way will NOT making a change influence you in the long term?

And upon getting that WHY, write it down and preserve it someplace the place you’ll be able to see it daily. Remind your self of it typically, and use it as motivation to maintain going, even when issues get exhausting.

That is one thing we positively give attention to in Section Zero of our TAS program, simply because we all know how necessary it’s. As a result of with out that huge WHY, it’s too simple to give up. Or to not start.

It’s important to need it greater than you’re fearful of it.

In order that’s step two—get clear about your why.

Take Small Steps within the Proper Route

The third step is to start out small, and to give attention to taking small, constant steps in the suitable course. As a result of the fact is that huge objectives will be very overwhelming, and might typically really feel to this point out of attain that it’s exhausting to even know the place to start out. And that’s when worry and self-doubt can begin to creep in, and might preserve us from taking any motion in any respect.

However on the similar time, ACTION is actually the ANTIDOTE to worry. It’s the remedy.

And so should you can take ANY motion, ANY step in the suitable course, it’ll assist construct your confidence and braveness, and assist propel you to the subsequent step.

The reality is that you simply don’t must do it . You don’t have to vary your whole life in a single day. You simply have to start out. And one of the best ways to do this is to start out small, and to give attention to making small, sustainable modifications you could really stick to.

So as a substitute of making an attempt to overtake your whole food plan and train routine , begin by making one small change. Perhaps that’s chopping out soda, or including extra water to your day, or going for a ten minute stroll after dinner. Or possibly it’s simply taking the time to trace what you’re consuming, so that you could begin to grow to be extra conscious of your habits and the place you may have the ability to make some modifications. Or possibly it’s simply SHOWING UP to that stay workshop I informed about and daring to ask a query.

After which, when you’ve gotten snug with that one change, add one other one. After which one other one. And earlier than you understand it, all of these small modifications will begin to add as much as huge outcomes. However the secret’s to start out small, and to give attention to taking small, constant steps in the suitable course.

Get Help

The fourth step for overcoming worry is to be keen to ask for assist, and to not be afraid to hunt out the help and sources that you want to achieve success. As a result of the fact is that you simply don’t have to do that alone, and there are such a lot of individuals on the market who need to enable you to and help you in your journey.

Principally, encompass your self with individuals who will inspire you to maintain taking motion!

And should you’re studying this weblog, you then’re already taking an important first step, as a result of there’s a lot worthwhile data and inspiration right here that may enable you to get began. However don’t be afraid to hunt out different sources as properly. Whether or not that’s discovering an accountability accomplice, or becoming a member of our TAS program, or working with a coach or a private coach, and even simply discovering some good books or podcasts that may enable you to change your mindset and keep motivated.

There is no such thing as a disgrace in asking for assist, and actually, it may be a really highly effective option to overcome the worry of failure, as a result of it means that you can encompass your self with individuals who can help and encourage you, and who may also help you keep on monitor.

Be Trustworthy With Your self

The fourth step for overcoming worry is to be keen to be trustworthy with your self, and to take an excellent, exhausting have a look at what’s not working in your life proper now. As a result of the fact is that should you preserve doing the identical belongings you’ve at all times accomplished, you then’re going to maintain getting the identical outcomes. And should you’re not proud of these outcomes, then one thing has to vary.

So be trustworthy with your self. Take an excellent, exhausting have a look at your present habits and behaviors, and on the issues that is perhaps holding you again. And be keen to make a change. As a result of the reality is that you’re the one one who has the facility to vary your life. Nobody else can do it for you.

Change Your Self Speak

And eventually, the sixth and ultimate step for overcoming worry in your life—and possibly additionally the toughest one—is to be keen to vary your mindset, and to let go of all of the limiting beliefs and destructive self-talk which can be holding you again. As a result of the fact is that we are sometimes our personal worst enemy, and that the issues we inform ourselves each day can have a huge effect on our capacity to succeed.

So be keen to vary your mindset. Be keen to problem these limiting beliefs, and to exchange them with extra optimistic, empowering ideas. And be keen to be type to your self, and to follow self-compassion, and to not let worry and self-doubt get in the way in which of your objectives and goals.

And like I stated, this one isn’t simple, which is why it’s so necessary to encompass your self with the suitable individuals who even have the suitable mindset. Actually, it’s why focus SO MUCH on mindset in our program, why it’s not nearly providing you with a meal plan and sending you in your manner.

As a result of we all know that true change takes time, and it occurs as a lot with the story you’re telling your self because it does with altering what you eat.

As a result of the reality is that you’re able to a lot greater than you assume. You might have the facility to vary your life, and to create the life that you really want. You simply must be keen to take that first step, and to not let the worry of failure maintain you again.

Remaining ideas

So there you may have it—the seven worry archetypes and the six sensible steps you’ll be able to take to truly overcome your worry of failure or getting began in a manner that may permit you to really make progress towards your well being and weight reduction objectives.

And whereas I do know that it’s not at all times simple, and that there’ll nonetheless be days whenever you battle, I additionally know that it’s doable. I do know that as a result of I’ve been there, and I’ve struggled with all of these items too. And but, I’ve additionally been capable of overcome them, and to create a sustainable, wholesome life-style that works for me.

And if I can do it, then I do know you could too. So don’t let worry maintain you again. Take that first step. And preserve going, one small step at a time.